Today, I felt okay being in my own skin. There are days when I wake up, look in the mirror and hate myself for letting myself gain a few extra pounds. Then, there are other days when I stare at myself and am glad I put on weight because it looks like I have a cute little butt. Day after day, I stare at the mirror judging my every imperfection. I am well aware that I am my own biggest critic yet I haven’t worked on fully accepting my body for what it is.
In this day and age, it feels like society is so heavily invested in how they look and the superficialities of everyone else. The number of women and men that talk down on themselves is incredible (including myself). Everyone is meant to be different and beautiful in their ways. Just re-reading that last part made me giggle inside because I know I’m the type of person who is great at giving advice but struggles to take it themselves at times. Yet, I also know how difficult it can be to not love everything about yourself and, believe me, there are two ways to see everything.
Over the last couple of years, I have gained and lost weight but this is the first time I am okay with putting on some pounds and am not freaking out. Every day that I stare at my body, I realize I was not meant to have the skinny figure of a 13-year-old boy, which is what I thought I wanted up until I was in high school. I have come to love every one of my curves and embrace not having a thigh gap. I've been there so I'm not judging anyone else’s body type, but I just know that those times weren’t the healthiest times of my life.
Difference between me being "skinny" and actually being healthy.
Similarly, my mental state has played a HUGE roll in the way I eat. When I am sad, there are days I don’t want to eat a single thing and others when I’ll eat absolutely anything in sight. Neither side of that spectrum is healthy for me but that’s just how I’m able to cope sometimes. Nonetheless, social media doesn’t fail to make me feel shitty about myself when I’m not feeling my greatest. We have to remember that everything we see on there is NOT real. Everyone has their things going on in their private life and we shouldn’t be focused on comparing our lives or bodies with anyone else’s. Like J. Cole said, “No such thing as a life that’s better than yours.” That line has always stuck with me and pushed me forward. It rings true - you think you have it rough but in the end, it is YOUR life, and yes sometimes things can get rough but positive perspectives are so important!
Today I want to leave you guys a reminder that you are enough just the way you are. I know sometimes it can be hard not to judge ourselves, but we should appreciate ourselves for who we are and give our bodies credit for everything they are.
Love and light always,
Mama Nurture